Written by sex journalist and expert, Gabrielle Kassel, for The Cowgirl.
Intimacy. You know it when you feel it. But trying to explain it will have you grasping at the alphabet the way someone might grasp their lover's hair while receiving oral. But as hard to nail down the definition of intimacy may be, it’s one of the things people most seek out during their sex session—especially when Valentine's Day circles around.
Defined broadly, intimacy is something that helps people feel more emotionally, physically, mentally, or intellectually more aligned. But ultimately, intimacy is in the eye of the beholder (er,bedded). So to know how to ramp up (or scale down) intimacy with your partner(s), you’ll have to ask them what acts and gestures feel most and least connected.
Still, there are a handful of sex positions know for infusing a little extra intimacy into your intercourse. Read on for 6 positions that will make you and your partners *heart eye* this Valentine’s day.
6 Intimate Sex Positions To Try With Your Boo(s)
Missionary is to intimate sex positions what Grey’s Anatomy is to television shows: The most popular known. Most commonly enjoyed for penetrative play, missionary puts the receptive partner on the bottom, and the partner doing the penetrating above them. Ideal for eye-gazing, missionary puts you and your partner face-to-face.
For the record: missionary can also be used for anal sex. To make the angle more optimal for backdoor play, have the receptive plop a positioning pillow under their hips. If you don’t have an official positioning prop, a folded towel and firm pillow will offer a similar benefit.
If you and your partner don’t have the (ahem) equipment for penetrative play for, or simply aren’t in the mood for vaginal or anal intercourse, missionary can also be enjoyed for hand sex, or sex toy play. Simply have either partner reach between your bodies and rub-a-dub. (Pro tip: finger vibrators work well here).
2. Amazing Amazon
Have you heard of the Amazon sex position before? It’s basically the love-child of missionary position and rider-on-top.
Here’s how it works: The partner doing the penetrating lies on their back with their knees bent up into the air. The partner who is being penetrated puts one knee on either side of their partner's body. Then, slowly slide themselves down their partner’s length. From here, the partner on top should buck or rock their hips in a rhythm that feels best.
Unlike some positions that are optimized for jack-hammering, this position isnot. Amazon is much better suited for soaking and shallow penetration. G-spot or P-spot orgasm, anyone?
The top partner might lean down and kiss their partner while performing Kegels on their shaft. Or, lock eyes with your partner while they release their load inside of you.
3. Mutual Masturbation
Mutual masturbation may get a lot of love during long distance lovemaking. For good reason: It’s one of the few sex positions accessible during FaceTime sex (AKA cyber sex). But mutual masturbation shouldn’t be reserved for couples enduring long distance. This Valentine’s Day—and hell, every other holiday, too—mutual masturbation should be enjoyed by couples who live near to or with their partner, too.
A sex position that involves two or more people touching their own bodies side-by-side, mutual masturbation can take on a number of different bodily configurations.
If skin-to-skin contact is what gets you going, try laying next to your partner. But rather than lying down side-by-side like sardines, drape your arms and legs over one another. You want to be so tangled that when one partner flexes their leg or arches their back at the pleasure, the other partner can feel it.
If, however, eye-contact is what you and your boo find intimate, take it to the couch. Have both partners rest their backs against the armrest, facing one another. Next, spread and stroke yourselves while locking eyes.
Pro tip: Incorporate lube into your mutual masturbation play. Not only will lube help your hand (and toy!) slide against your parts more comfortably, it will also create an arousing glisten to your genitals that will turn your partner on. Plus, lube can help turn up the volume on the wet bodily sounds. Trust, it’s hot.
4. Snuggle Spoon
Thename of this position may make you roll your eyes. But this position itself will make you roll your eyes into the back of your head (in ecstasy).
This one involves the partner doing the penetrating wrapping their body around the receptive partner, so that they are back-to-belly. This allows both partners to achieve maximum skin-to-skin contact while they bang (vaginally or anally).
Snuggle spoon can also be used for nipple play and breast tissue play and hand (or vibrator) stuff. The back partner just needs to wrap their hand around their partner and twiddle, diddle, and tweak.
5. Sideways 69
Mutual oral sex is the most divisive sex position there is. While many pleasure-seekers love it, others find lick-me-while-I-lick-you position distracting and annoying. (To each their own!).
If you’re in the former camp, rather than configuring your bodies like bunk beds (yanno, one on top of the other), try sideways 69. To try it, lie on your sides with your feet on opposite ends of the bed. Then, shimmy up or down the mattress until your mouths and genitals are aligned. Spread your legs like happy clams, and enjoy.
And remember: If you get so distracted by your orgasm that you “forget” to continue sucking your partner, that's totally OK! Just consider keeping a sex toy at hand. That way when you can more-easily deliver pleasurable sensations to your partner while you get yours.
6. Desired Doggy
Whoever said doggy style wasn’t intimate never tried it in front of a standing mirror! A twist on doggy style that allows eye-contact, Desired Doggy allows you see just how much your partner enjoys making love to you.
The setup is simple. Just get into your usual doggy style position. But make sure there’s a floor-length mirror positioned a few feet away from you that you can look into.
To really woo your partner, try mouthing “I love you”. Trust, if they read your lips correctly they’ll be totally undone by the gesture.