There are many ways to embody your dominant or submissive side to help expand your existing dynamics and build more intensity and intimacy with your partner. Say hello to the forced orgasm!
What is a Forced Orgasm?
Forced orgasm is a type of power exchange that relies on consent and communication, and a willingness to put your orgasm in someone else’s hands, or take responsibility for bringing your partner to climax when you’re ready. Are you interested in exploring the world of forced orgasm play? Here’s a little how-to guide to help you get started!
The Benefits of Forced Orgasms for the Submissive
Sharing power over your body and pleasure through forced orgasm is a way of showing trust and the desire to let your partner take the reins and help you experience the balance between pleasure and pain.
In some cases, forced orgasm can be cathartic for submissives who might struggle with being the center of attention, or who have a hard time letting go and reaching climax. Being tied up, gagged, blindfolded or otherwise restricted can allow you a sense of freedom to experience any of the intense sensations your Dominant can create for you.
Forced orgasm can be a way to experience more powerful stimulation, such as high powered vibration from a vibrator like the Le Wand Rechargeable Massager. This vibe has 10 different speeds and 20 different vibration patterns which allow for a strong arc of arousal and pleasure, to customize your play and create a varied experience every time.
Having the discipline to do exactly as you’re told and let your partner drive the scene is also a big part of orgasm control. Achieving an orgasm that is arranged by your Dominant can be a testament to your discipline and self-restraint.
The Benefits of Forced Orgasms for the Dominant
As a Dominant, you need to be aware of your submissive’s needs, body, desires, and limits. Accepting power makes you responsible for your sub’s care and pleasure. Whether you’re sensual or sadistic, incorporating forced orgasm into your BDSM allows you to create an intricate experience focused on wielding power creatively.
Test your submissive’s endurance by layering sensations and incorporating an element of surprise. A remote control sex toy such as the B-Vibe Rimming Plug 2 is great for deciding when you’re going to turn on the stimulation. Besides offering a feeling of fullness combined with internal vibration, this couples toy also has a set of rotating beads at the neck, for a surprising analingus sensation at the anal opening. Remote control sex toys can be concealed under clothing, and worn out in public while still allowing you as a Dominant to bring pleasure to your submissive regardless of where you are.
If your submissive is going to be tied up, remote control toys also give you easier access for changing the modes and patterns without having to get into specific positions to reach the button. Remember, you have the power to tease, surprise, or torment them with stimulation. Use all of the tools in your toybox to bring them pleasure and pain.
Forced Orgasm How To – All the Basic Tools You’ll Need
As with all BDSM play, the best place to begin exploring forced orgasm is by engaging in clear communication about desires, boundaries, and expectations. Using a Yes/No/Maybe list can help you gauge overlapping sexual fantasies and interests and give you a good launching point for what might be possible in your play.
Define what power exchange looks like for each of you. What kinds of control is the submissive willing to give up, and what boundaries do they have for your play? What are the Dominant’s desires and what kinds of activities do they feel comfortable engaging in? Some folks want to experience orgasm control as part of sensual indulgence, while others might want to involve pain, discipline, or consensual humiliation. Be aware of how the way you use your toys and words affects the tone of the scene.
Decide on markers to indicate the beginning and end of your scene ahead of time. Set a specific time to begin play, or create a ritual to symbolize the beginning or end of your scene. You can also turn this into a challenge or game in which the scene ends once your submissive has had a certain number of orgasms.
Before you play, always negotiate safewords or other non-verbal signals that indicate you or your submissive want to stop playing. Make sure everyone has the tools to end or adjust the scene if needed. Also, clarify your aftercare needs are before you play, so you can make sure everyone is getting the level of care and reassurance they after this intense play.
Climax Manipulation – Edging & Orgasm Denial
Forced orgasm doesn’t have to be about getting your partner to have orgasms as quickly and frequently as possible. Edging and orgasm denial can be part of creating a more intense forced orgasm.
Build up your partner’s orgasm by bringing them to the edge of orgasm, then denying them a climax by removing the action or toy right when they’re about to get off. Besides adding suspense and an element of surprise, when you finally decide to allow them to have an orgasm, the sensation will be much stronger.
The Cowgirl couples sex machine is an excellent tool for edging because it offers a very wide range of vibration intensities, and the choice between giving your partner either internal g-spot or p-spot stimulation, or just focusing on external vibration. The act of handing over the remote control app for this extremely powerful sex machine can in itself be an act of submission. Use your Cowgirl to start and stop stimulation, and tease with light vibration, before working up to the setting that gets your partner to orgasm. Create a tease and reward game, and use the app to turn on the vibration for positive feedback in which the reward is the chance to have an orgasm.
Consensual Erotic Humiliation and its Relationship to Forced Orgasms
You can combine forced orgasm scenes with erotic humiliation to set the tone of forced orgasm as consensual punishment and to create a strong emotional response. If this is something you’re interested in, negotiate boundaries around the language you use when you’re verbally humiliating your sub and try using dirty talk, name calling, and giving direction or reprimands.
Teasing your submissive around their perceived greediness for orgasms or testing their discipline around controlling their orgasms on command can provide a lot of direction in combining forced orgasms and humiliation. For some people, who are visually inclined, incorporating mirrors and making submissives watch themselves orgasm can also be a form of humiliation. Try combining techniques to create a more elaborate scene.
Forced Orgasm Aftercare
Aftercare is essential after BDSM play, and everyone has different needs after engaging in a heavy scene. Playing with power and forced orgasm requires a great deal of vulnerability and trust from all parties, and it’s important to use the time after play to make sure everyone feels safe and has a smooth transition back into the real world. Some people want verbal reassurance, physical touch, or cuddling after an intense scene. Others may need food, water, or time alone. The key to good aftercare is to communicate your post-play needs before you begin your scene and to be willing to make adjustments when the time comes, in case someone’s needs change. Aftercare is just as important as all of the other parts of your scene, so remember to prioritize it.
Incorporating forced orgasms into your power exchange can lead to intense pleasure, and can also serve to connect a Dominant and submissive through building more trust and creating space for greater intimacy. The combination of pleasure and pain that people can experience through forced orgasm is a truly unique set of sensations, and can really level up your partner sex.
Get creative! Check out our Couples Sex Machine guide for even more tips on how you can use The Cowgirl to continue exploring and intensifying your orgasms.