Written by sex journalist and expert, Gabrielle Kassel, for The Cowgirl.
If you’re buying a cake, odds are it’s because you’re going to put candles and forks in it. But what if we told you that people are buying cakes to put their backsides in it? Introducing: Cake sitting.
Typically categorized as a fetish trend, cake sitting involves erotically sitting on cake. Got questions? Keep reading.
Below sexuality professionals flush out the fetish in detail—including insights on why some pleasure-seekers are turned on by the act, as well as tips for exploring cake sitting in your own life.
What Is Cake Sitting?
Cake sitting, at it’s most basic level, refers to the act sitting on (birthday) cake, explains erotic educator, Taylor Sparks. The sex act can take many forms, but typically it involves one or more people lowering their backsides onto a cake, and then shimmying, shaking, humping, bumping, and rubbing on the cake for their own sexual pleasure—or the sexual pleasure of those watching.
“Typically, cake sitting is thought of a subcategory of ‘splooshing’, which is a fetish that involves sensation play with food,” she says. And sometimes it’s categorized as a ‘wet and messy’ fetish (WAM), which is a fetish for incorporating wet non-bodily fluids into sexual play.
While cake sitting is most commonly referred to as a sexual fetish, some people prefer to call their enjoyment of cake sitting a kink. As a refresher: A fetish is typically defined as something that falls outside of the typical boundaries of what society says is “normal” and must be present for someone to experience pleasure, while a kink is simply something not-vanilla that enhances the experience. In short: Whether someone experiences cake sitting as a fetish or kink is individual to them.
The History Of Cake Sitting
“It definitely originates within the kink/fetish world,” says Carol Queen PhD, a sexologist
But unfortunately, there’s no official textbook on the origin of cake sitting. Most sources say the sex act is emerged within the last five years. But Christina Aguilera sat on a cake in her wedding dress for OUT! Magazine photoshoot in 2010, and there were a number of performances and gallery showings involving cake sitting in 2014.
And Urban Dictionary has an entry on the act from as early as 2003.
Why People Love Cake Sitting
“People love cake sitting for different reasons,” says Dr. Queen. Some love the performance of it, some love the way it makes their partner feel, and some people (sex workers) love the way it helps them make money. More reasons below!
1. It’s taboo.
The idea of doing something wrong, forbidden, or naught can be a real turn on for some people. In fact, it’s one of the most common sexual fantasies.
And sitting on—rather than eating—cake falls into that category for some people.
2. It can be a type of temperature play.
Temperature play involves using different temperatures to tantalize and surprise your nerve-endings. And cake sitting can fall under this umbrella, according to Sparks.
“For some people there’s something about the thrill of the cold cake on their naked warm body,” she says.
3. Sexy sounds.
One of the reasons that cake sitting is categorized as WAM is because it is wet and messy, and wet and messy things make sounds!
“Sitting on cake can make a squeamish or squishy sound that people find arousing,” says Sparks.
4. Incorporates tastes and smell.
This goes without saying: But cake also tastes and smells delicious!
5. First step into body worship.
“For some, cake sitting is a fun entry point into partnered play,” says Queen. For example, some people like to sit in a cake and then have their partner lick the frosting off their body.
“For some of these people, some of the enjoyment stems from its relation to body worship,” she says.
6. Connected into other kinks.
For some, cake sitting is a way to explore other kinks.
For example:
- Humiliation play
- Voyeurism
- Exhibitionism
How To Explore Cake Sitting
1. Figure out what your exact fantasy is.
Ultimately, how you decide to explore cake sitting will depend on why and in which ways you’re interested in it! If, for example, you’re interested in watching other people sit on cakes, your entry point is going to be slightly different than someone who is interested in doing the sitting.
So start by asking yourself the following questions:
- Do I want to cake sit? Or do I want to watch someone else cake sit?
- What sense does the fantasy most invoke?
- Am I specifically interested in exploring cake in a sexual setting? Are there other foods or fluids that turn me on?
- Who, if anyone, do I want to explore cake sitting with?
2. Find the right setting.
“Cake setting could potentially happen anywhere people are gathered,” says Queen. “But is more likely to be accepted in arty, sexy, or kink spaces.”
If you’re interested in sitting on cake as a performer, she recommends checking out burlesque spaces and online camming. If, however, you’re interested in exploring cake sitting in a sexual setting, you should check out play parties, kink parties, sex dungeons, or Burning Man-inspired shindigs.
“You can always do it at home with your boo, if your boo is also intrigued,” she says.
3. Find the right cake to sit on!
“You can use any kind of cake,” says Queen. You can start with a cupcake, a store-bought cake, make and decorate your own, or get married and sit on your wedding cake, she says.
“One thing to keep in mind is that, according to cammer and cake-sitting pro Lindsay Dye, chocolate and red velvet cake is going to look more like bodily excreta than other types, which will be a turn-off to some,” she says. Noted!
4. Consider wearing underwear
Sugar can disrupt your vaginal and anal microbiome, and can increase your risk yeast infection an irritation. “It’s going to be difficult to avoid the sugar in cake and icing,” says Sparks.
“If you have a vulva it might be best to wear underwear to keep the sugar from getting inside your holes,” she says.
